Trust in all its forms sometimes comes more easily than at others, but one of the hardest forms of trust seems to be connected with trusting yourself and whatever you pick up or know intuitively. I see this with my students, my clients and also with myself.
With Reiki and Chios students I see the uncertainly over the sensations that they are able to detect with their hands when they first begin to work, the disbelief that they, ‘ordinary’, ‘normal’ people (to use their own words) can pick up anything. This then magnifies the first time they get an image, words or a message or even worse, that sense of knowing something but not being able to say how they know.
With those who come to learn how to do shamanic journeying the most common feeling is that they are making it up, that it is all in their imagination. With past life regression clients, the belief that it is all in their imagination is also common. What helps here of course is if they discover a date or a name that they can Google and find.
I know exactly how they all feel for I have been there all too often myself.
When I first trained in Reiki and found myself picking up information, I too dismissed it, pushed it away, felt I was making it up or imagining it. Over the years I have learnt to trust myself. Feedback from clients when I am working with them, when I share insights has of course helped with this.
During one regression for myself I spent time in a life where something happened to me that made no sense and which I felt I had made up. I had though been given a date. When I Googled the date I discovered that there were things that happened historically during that particular year that matched the experience I had during that incarnation.
When I first began working with my guides and if I’m honest, for a long time afterwards I would ask for proof. I needed hard evidence that what I was feeling intuitively was in fact correct or at least real. When working with my guides I spent a lot of my time wondering if it was all in my head, if I was imagining it all and of course if I was imagining them. The hard evidence for me came a few years ago when I was lucky enough to be working with a psychic artist. She drew three of my guides for me and told me things about them that I knew but no one else could possibly know. This came at a time when I really did need proof, a time when I was questioning everything and it provided for me hard irrefutable evidence along with a message from them along the lines of ‘will you now stop asking for proof’.
I have lost count of how many times I have found myself knowing something but not having any idea of how I know it, or indeed why. This used to bother me enormously but now I just accept it and roll with it, knowing that if I need to know why I know, then at some point I will.
So why is it we find it so hard to trust ourselves and what we are able to pick up intuitively, through journeying, through regression, through using our senses? Sadly I don’t think there is a simple one word answer to this. Like most things to do with being here in human form it is complicated, or at least we make it so.
One of the first things we have to contend with is doubt. The doubt that comes from second guessing ourselves. This I see so often with those learning to dowse. The question is set, the pendulum swings and gives an answer, amplifying what we ourselves pick up, or would if we were to allow ourselves to be sensitive enough to do so, we get an answer…….and then we doubt it ….we question whether we could possibly have got an answer….so we ask again and double check. This is a huge mistake as with dowsing you should never question the answer, you just have to trust.
Another thing is fear. Fear of being wrong, of being seen to be wrong, fear of making a mistake, fear of getting it right then having to believe in ourselves….the list of fears is endless. Much of it is based on past experience and if we don’t allow ourselves to have the experience of trusting ourselves then how can we ever build up enough experience to believe we can just know and that the knowing we have is correct.
It is good and healthy, not to trust ourselves implicitly though. With ourselves we still need to be discerning, to question whether what we are feeling, what we know, makes sense on some level or other, whether it is safe or if by following it we put ourselves in danger. We would do this with anyone else and so we should with ourselves. Blind faith never served anyone well but a little faith and trust gets us a long way.