One of the things I am short on a lot of the time, with myself anyway, and which I’m sure I’ve mentioned before, is patience, but two things I am doing at the moment are teaching me this, not through lessons but by involving me in something I really want to be doing to the extent that the journey becomes so much more important than the process.
The first of these is the training work I am doing with the Order of the Bards, Ovates and Druids. I began this around eighteen months or so ago as a Bard and for the last few weeks have been working as an Ovate. I can honestly say that this is the first thing I have done where the process is more important than the end result. In the past when I have trained I have always had the end result in mind, the certificate that will let me do something, or the next course ahead of me but this time there is none of it. The journey itself is enough.
The second thing I am doing is a certificate in coloured pencils with the London Art College. Now one thing I should probably explain is that I usually work in watercolour. It’s quick, immediate and hard but not impossible to make changes. Even painting as I do in layers of watercolour compared to most art forms it is quick. Coloured pencils are also layered but in a completely different way. Work is done by making small lines on the paper, building up layers of colour in a tiny area and then moving on to the next. The course material says 4-5 hrs for each exercise. Nothing I have done so far has been that quick. The piece I am working on at present will take me over 50 hrs but I actually don’t care. With each tiny piece I am immersed in the process, it becomes zen like and meditative and in this I find I have immense patience.
This has all got me reflecting on how much in the past I have chosen or needed to be focused on a goal. When I was still in a mainstream job within an organisation someone else set the overall goals but I was still working away setting smaller goals that would lead to the overall one. Even since working as a therapist I would still have been setting myself goals, Reiki 1 went my goal became Reiki 2 and then Masters, by training in massage it let me achieve anatomy and physiology and so it went on.
Perhaps it is part of getting older but I no longer set myself goals or targets, work ebbs and flows and I roll with it. Each quiet period with work gives me time to do something else like paint or draw, go out for lunch, meet up with friends, study or enjoy the garden. For courses I never try and plan but rather wait for students to appear and they do 🙂 I have learnt over time that the less I do, the less I interfere, the more it all works out. I have always believed that if the energy is right then things will happen and if it’s not I cannot make it so which means I don’t do marketing or goal setting, nor do I have a business plan or even a view of how and where I’d like it all to go.
So really I am working on being more ‘zen’, not pushing to make things happen, not hurrying through any aspect of my life. I am allowing myself to have patience with myself and to live in the moment only focused on what I am doing at that time, no longer planning or looking ahead but enjoying what is happening now and I am enjoying it 🙂