Pagan Blog Project – Exploring

imageFinding my first ‘E’ blog was easy, this one less so. I have spent the last few days tossing around all sorts of E possibilities. I was very tempted to wade into the discussion about either energy or elements but just as I was about to start writing I realised that what I really wanted to blog about this week was exploring. After all isn’t that what we are all here to do….or hopefully what we are all here doing at any rate.

Looking back I can see that in many ways I have spent my whole life consciously exploring, looking to see what else is out there. This is not because I am unsatisfied, far from it really, but because I am and have always been, inquisitive. This desire to explore has lead me to some interesting places, especially over the last decade or so and I fully expect it to continue to lead me to yet more, for I know I am far from finished.

I think I have probably been lucky in that I grew up having experienced being temporarily part of several different strands of religion, encouraged to take what resonated and leave the rest behind, not to believe anything because someone said it was so, but to question and discover for myself what fit me.

As a teenager and young adult, first in need of a bit more than my pocket money and then to supplement a grant I tried on a selection of jobs; clearing tables, cook, life guard, sales assistant, bar person. None of them were me but who I became for a brief period of time. I leant to shape shift, to take on a role, perform it and then leave it behind when I took off the ‘uniform’.

From these early experiences it has been easy as an adult not to get drawn in to the mentality of being only one thing and so as I have moved though life, as I have learnt, so my beliefs have changed. I have continued as the child, holding onto what fits and letting go of the rest.

This world of ours is very big and contains infinite possibilities for us if we allow ourselves to be brave and to explore. It makes me wonder sometimes why we are in such a hurry to label ourselves or others: child, parent, wife, husband, mother, father, teacher, shop assistant, chef, bank clerk, light worker, pagan, Druid, shaman, healer or whatever.

Why is it that feel we need to do this to make sense of everything? And why are we so wary, dismissive or overawed by anyone who we label as something other than ourselves? What is it that makes us so insecure that we need to restrict ourselves? What makes us afraid to stretch and explore?

The only thing I know beyond a shadow of a doubt from my exploration so far is that I am only whoever I am at that particular point in time. No more, no less. At any given moment I am the sum of all my explorations up to that point but only up to that. Tomorrow as I explore further I may well change. My beliefs change as I change, how I see myself changes as I change and with that comes great freedom.

And isn’t that what makes this life so exciting? If we can let go of our fears and let it be that is.